Teen son 1: WHAT KIND OF PARENT ARE YOU? You weren’t going to say “Hey son you’re about to be decapitated… you may not want to do that!” Apparently I need to know everything by 15 if I want to live!
Teen son 2: Why can’t he just do it? He has the wing span of a baby pterodactyl!
Teen son 1: No! Mom, you can’t do that. Fine, go ahead but I am not snap chatting you. Because, that is creepy.
Teen son 2: Where’s the muenster cheese?
Teen son 1: On the book case.
Teen son 2: All night?
Teen son 1: No, just now? Of course all night!
Teen son 2: Hey dummy! This is sharp cheddar?
Teen son 1: Oh, yeah the muenster is on the on the stair case.
Teen son 2: Thanks. Hey! Your corsage for Kenley is still in the fridge.
Teen son 1: Don’t touch it! I still want to give it to her!
Teen son 1: That says Neapolitan.
Teen son 2: Stupid English language. Mom! He’s failing Bible.
Teen son 1: Mom! He can’t spell Neapolitan!
Teen son 2: Whatever that is not even phonetically close to Neapolitan.
Teen son 1: Oh yeah, but nipple town makes perfect sense.
Teen son 2: At least I am not going to hell for failing Bible, the study of the word of Our Lord.
Teen son 1: Who ate all the toaster strudel?
Teen son 2: YOU! Last night??? With the cheese.
Teen son 1: I ate EIGHT toaster strudels?
Teen son 2: Yes…. remember? While we were watching Friends.
Both crack up laughing.
Teen son 1: Oh my gosh that was so funny! With Chandler….
Pre-Teen Daughter: Where’s the cheese?
Teen sons IN UNISON: on the book case or the stairs.
This blog post was brought to you Xanax. Xanax, when you live with teenagers and need a coping mechanism to get you through breakfast. Xanax the official sedative of moms with sons. And by Jesus, without whom, there would be no Xanax… thank you Lord. For you are good..