31 Things I Wish You’d Quit Saying: Day 24 “God Told Me…”

Recently at a convention an “eclectic” woman approached me.  She said that she was meeting with a publisher shortly and that God told her that I would listen to her speculative fiction pitch.

I am certain the Lord did tell her this.


He knows me pretty well.  He knew I wouldn’t tell her no.  I am lead to believe either God was answering this woman’s prayers, He was mad at me, or He thought it would be funny.  I don’t pretend to know what moves God to do what, but I listened.

An hour later I deliriously limped to the bar.  This is not a reflection of the pitch, although it was quite long.  No, I am just not a big fan of Christian speculative fiction.  Somewhere after a dragon, before the uprising of fairies, and in between the 7th flashback to the days before the days that were, I had a black-out. I hoped that a cold Cosmo would help revive my cognitive abilities.


Once they’d been restored, I remembered another time that someone said, “God told me…”  where the results were much more damaging to my cognitive state.  My husband’s older brother and business partner had been killed in a head-on collision. I was standing in the foyer of the church with my youngest daughter; his casket was only a few feet away.  Sophie was having a hard time, and I had swept her away for a moment.  A woman, I did not know, approached us.  She said she was sorry that Josh was gone but that she needed to tell me something.  Harmless small town chatter…


She said, “God told me to tell you that  Josh went to hell.”

I am not confrontational, but I had had just enough drama, heartache, and Xanax that my “snarkiness” was unleashed.  I barked, “Perfect!  I will meet you there someday, and the three of us will have a riveting game of Scrabble and work on our tans.”  I turned on my heels, lead Sophie away, and left the prophetess standing dumbfounded like the numbskull she was.  Sophie said, “there’s Scrabble in hell?”  So, these are the obvious points:

  1.  In front of my distraught daughter?  You truly believe that God needed you to speak on His behalf?
  2. Why would He tell YOU this?
  3. Why would I need to know?
  4. You don’t know my God the way I do.  He told me to tell you if He has something to tell me it will be for glory, good, correction, and worth.

I hesitated to post this, “what not to say.”  But, after the “Praying for you really hard” article, I got some feedback from fellow Christian grievers. The heartbroken felt the piece spoke to their struggles with returning to God with “small” prayers when BIG prayers hadn’t been answered.  I also received a couple messages about losing a child and what it is like to then hear people pray for a vacation or new car when they’ve lost a piece of themselves.

type writer

Let me be clear.  I believe that God hears our prayers.  I believe He knows our hearts.  I believe He cares about everything we care about.  We cannot know why some prayers are answered and why some are not, but I believe He is sovereign.  He is good.  And He makes all things work together for good for those who love Him.  But to be in unity with Christ requires a high level of responsibility in our actions and our words.

It is one thing to speak off the cuff as a well-meaning or even mislead Christians and be misinterpreted – God can cover your butt if He chooses.  It is an entirely, different issue to speak with the authority that God told you to say something.  And you don’t want to misspeak for the Lord.  I am certain.  Nothing horrifies me more than a picture of my God (and yes, He looks like OB1 Kenobi in my mind) slapping himself in the forehead and mumbling, “Oi Vey!  Sit down and shut up fool!” 

I consulted a wise friend about this.  She is someone I trust exponentially, and she does often receive a prophetic word.  But! She testified to an incident where she said, “God told me…” when a better way to speak to a dream, instinct or vision about someone else’s needs, should include the following:

  1.  The best wording is to own it, “I feel like this is what is going on…”
  2. Can you picture Jesus speaking what you’re about to say?
  3. Are you speaking to bless or curse?
  4. Are you willing to accept the consequences of what you are about to say?

And I do believe in speaking truth when the truth needs to be told, but far be it for me to speak as if my words are in play FOR the Alpha and Omega. His Word is written.  He probably wouldn’t ever have a parable about losing His skirt the grocery store. Granted He might help me make sense of it, work through it, and apply a wordy lesson for the fanfare. But if anyone is listening, my prayer is that I mislead no one from the way, the truth, and the life.

Just don’t say: God told me to tell you…  

Once when I was teaching kindergarten, I was helping the sweetest little guy with his phonics.  I showed him a card with the letter P on it.  I asked him what sound the letter made, and he responded with a series of sounds that can only be made by little boys and monster trucks.  I said, “Come on?  That isn’t what it sounds like?” and he said, “I promise teacher, that is what it sounds like in my head!”


And I am sure it does.  Those phonetics don’t work in society, but I hope he keeps those sounds.  Cause sometimes what goes on in our heads is what the Lord is telling us.  And sometimes, it needs to stay there, just between you and the Lord.

“Speak Lord your servant is listening…:  1 Samuel 3:10

May your floors be sticky and your calling ordained.  Love, Jami

About jamiamerine

I am a wife, mom, & seeker of joy! I love to share funny and inspirational tales with my fellow moms. I fully believe that God intended laughter to be a form of rest and worship. I have a few kids. I have a few years on me. I have a great husband. And I love to laugh. I studied home economics in college, I can cook just about anything, but do not ask me to sew. In my graduate work I studied education and human development, I consider my life continuing education, my children are my ongoing thesis. If they survive that, I will let you know! I write non-fiction for laughter, respite, and inspiration. I also am in the process of submitting my first fiction mystery and have two more in the works! Mom life is hard work. My prayer for my readers is that, even if it you just have five minutes, you can be inspired and encouraged today. Keep it short and sweet... rest in Jesus girlfriend.
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12 Responses to 31 Things I Wish You’d Quit Saying: Day 24 “God Told Me…”

  1. mckelvie12 says:

    That’s what it sounds like in my head.


  2. Donna MartinWarren says:

    I have a friend that used “the Lord told me…” as a discussion ending statement. She was head of an organization of whichI was part . Eventually we had a frank discussion about her arrogance and my rebellious streak . The Lord must have told her to shut up or her stopped giving her all the answers because I don’t remember it being an issue after that. I know she is an amazing ,God fearing woman. We are still friends though not as before.
    You’ve hit a nerve with this essay. I hope that all the modern day prophetess (and prophets) learn rein it in- if He is truly in that word you need to share He won’t let it go. He will ultimately compel you to speak. Your points to ponder are spot on.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Kathy says:

    And once again you read my mind and said it a million times better. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Someone told my sister one day that God told him she should sell some land for XXX amount of dollars. It was about about 3/4 of what she was asking and the land was already priced below the value. She told them she would have to pray about it and to call or come by in two days. Her response was that God told her not to sell the land for less than what she was asking. 🙂 He did not say one word in response to this. He just told her to have a good day.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Pingback: 31 Days of Stuff I Wish You’d Quit Saying: Day 25 Don’t Get Your Feathers in a Tissy… | sacredgroundstickyfloors

  6. Jenny Rapson says:

    ❤ this so much, will have to tell you why sometime! Thanks for posting, friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Susan Shay says:

    I noticed several years ago, “God told me . . . ” got to be the thing to say among Christians. One day I asked, “What does He sound like? Is his voice low and growly? Booming? Did your face shine with glory when He’d finished?” I didn’t hear that phrase quite so often after that. 🙂


  8. JH says:

    Thank you! Once when I was pregnant and with a large group of ladies, one lady asked to pray over me. During her prayer she said God was telling her I was having a boy and we would name him Micah. We later found out I was having a girl and we named her Noelle. It also bugged me that I had told her previously that we like our kids names to be a surprise until they are born and she announced my “son’s” name in a prayer to a fairly large group of my friends.

    Liked by 1 person

    • jamiamerine says:

      oh my. I have received some negative feedback on this post… but this is EXACTLY what I am talking about. Not that we can’t receive a good word – but that kind of thing… EW. Bless you, and I LOVE the name Noelle. So classic and feminine.


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