Great Lies I Tell My Children…

Don’t you dare? Don’t even start with me missy!  Need I remind you?

Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth-Fairy, and The Great Pumpkin?  Well, that last one isn’t a thing, but the others…

santa

All the great moms lie.  And if you’ve read this blog more than once I can assume you know:

  1. I am not that great, but I get by,  just barely.
  2. I use whatever cheap tactics I can to get through the day.

So this is the truth, this blog was inspired by my brother’s delicate verbalization describing my phone voes to me.

Me: So you are saying that my phone doesn’t work and it is my fault?

Michael: I am saying that choices you have made have contributed to your phone’s inability to work at the intended capacity for which it was created.

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Pro parent 101:  Wording is everything.

And I have a new batch of babies. And I can’t decide if I am lying too much, or not enough, and I am questioning lies of old.  Starting with Santa.

Our Luke, he’s the stuff real parents are made of, and he too inspired this line of thinking.  He hit the ground challenging all that we knew about our parenting abilities.  He was our third and he continues to rock our world.

Easter_Bunny

 

When Luke started to question Santa’s existence and we sat down to have “the talk” with him he responded with: “So, should I assume you lied about Jesus too?” To which we were utterly horrified and then he refused to attend church with us while he, “decided for himself what the truth was since he obviously couldn’t trust us.”  He was 9.

Yep, that’s my son.

 

 

And yes, for you loyal followers, he is the one I  just put on a plane back to military school.  And, I double dog dare you to judge me out loud. IF you decide to trudge down this dangerous indisposition of parenting: “I would never…” or “You should…” please include your email address so I can attach the necessary paperwork for you to enroll your child in military school.

Just don’t.  NEVER SAY NEVER.

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I digress, what to do about the vandals and Santa… I truly struggle with this.  Because, it isn’t true.  And yes, it is all in fun and tradition.  And I know that it shouldn’t be that big of a deal… and I am old to start changing things up now.

 

And with the other kids we padded our traditional tall tale with the story of the real St. Nick, but the vandals birth into our family began with a tragedy.  And I feel I owe them something… different.

And I tell other stories to them. If you could see the goopy wax that comes out of Sam’s ears.  This stuff is insane.  And, it is brown.  So when he was about 6 months old I took him to the pediatrician and bemoaned my concern.  “It’s brown!” and the pediatrician said, “Yeah, just wipe it out with a warm washcloth.” and I said, “Is it brown because he is Mexican?  Like, does it look like that because of his skin color?” and the pediatrician gave me a record book’s technical, “You are a moron” look and said,

clint eastwood

“No.”

Fair enough, I didn’t know?

But, this is nuclear waste wax.  And now that he’s coming up on 4 it is harder and harder to hold him down to clean it.  So, I lie.  “Time to get the spiders out of your ears!” Sam hates spiders.

disgust

Oh, don’t look at me like that.

He will drop what he is doing and  lay down and let me dig that goop out with a shovel.  And! In all fairness, since the birth of the “spiders in your ears” lies, he has stopped having ear infections. I can put the wax dissolving ear drops in his ears and therefore, it was in his best interest for me to lie in order to get the sludge out of his ears.

Whatever, we will get him the appropriate counseling when he’s ready.  But, surely some of you would agree, you do what ya gotta do.

I guess I can’t stop thinking about how hard the teen years are.  The identity crisis, even with my easier teens, is somewhat unavoidable.  And the vandals are little.  I hope to teach them, like the children before them, that their true identity is in Christ, but I also know – this is their reality to embrace.  You can lead a horse to water, ya da ya da ya da.

And, when the vandals begin to hit thirteen, I’ll be 54. Dealing with 13-year-old, adopted, sons will be a whole new territory.  And they are cute and cuddly now and community thinks it so dear that we have opened our homes. But, I am curious about how a community embraces adoptive families when these babies are at their most difficult? Or are questioning traditions, their identity, or Jesus?

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And I know they need to know they are adopted, but I don’t want that to be their whole identity.  As Christians, we are all adopted.  In 40 years, I want them to describe themselves as Christ seeking men, who love Jesus; men who came to serve, not be served.

 

And their adoption into our family?  A tiny portion of the magnitude of their existence and their impact on the least of these.

So, I cannot decide.  And I guess I have some time. But I want them to trust us, and I want them to have traditions. I want them to have balance.  I want them to know who they are, where they came from, and why we raised them in a home that believes that Jesus is the Messiah.

I know they’ll be raised to believe that the ice cream truck only plays music when it’s out of ice cream and that balloons are a creation from the devil. I know these things haven’t damaged the grown children too badly… but Santa, and the other lies?  I readily admit I just don’t know.

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And I guess I’ll decide later, right now I must go get the spiders out of Sam’s ears.

May your floors be sticky and your calling ordained. Love, Jami

“Yet to all who received Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God–“ John 1:12

 

 

About jamiamerine

I am a wife, mom, & seeker of joy! I love to share funny and inspirational tales with my fellow moms. I fully believe that God intended laughter to be a form of rest and worship. I have a few kids. I have a few years on me. I have a great husband. And I love to laugh. I studied home economics in college, I can cook just about anything, but do not ask me to sew. In my graduate work I studied education and human development, I consider my life continuing education, my children are my ongoing thesis. If they survive that, I will let you know! I write non-fiction for laughter, respite, and inspiration. I also am in the process of submitting my first fiction mystery and have two more in the works! Mom life is hard work. My prayer for my readers is that, even if it you just have five minutes, you can be inspired and encouraged today. Keep it short and sweet... rest in Jesus girlfriend.
This entry was posted in #jesus, #mommylife, adoption, jesus, Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

20 Responses to Great Lies I Tell My Children…

  1. Jennifer says:

    I have 2 “Luke’s” ages 9 and 13. PLEASE send me the military school paperwork, or if you’d like to adopt them……😂 I also have a 7 yr old daughter I’ll throw in also…I’m not sure if she’s worse than the boys or equal. 😕

    Liked by 1 person

  2. mckelvie12 says:

    What – there is no Santa?

    Like

  3. Jennifer says:

    I love you and want to be your best friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Allison Eyler says:

    Hi Jami! Uncle Spudd’s Allison here! I’m a little slow on the take but saw where your mom shared this with my Molly….not me….mind you, she knows my inconsistencies well! I don’t check fb often! But Molly checks here’s even less frequently! Lol! Love to all of you!!!!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Jami, I can guarantee your Dad (McKelvie12) truly does believe in Santa! I know it’s true every single Christmas for the last 46 years… well, maybe not that long, but as long as we’ve had children at least! BTW, he really does need to update to McKelvie13 Love!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Grandma Jan says:

    I sympathize with you and the Santa decision. My youngest son was like Luke, a skeptic from the get-go, and he never really fell for the lie. (No fun for us.) My eldest fell for it much harder than we knew. He got in his only fight ever at school in 6th grade — he was 12! — because a classmate told him there was no Santa. His response: “I know there’s a Santa, because my mom said there was, and she would never lie to me!” Wow. The verbal dance I performed was one of the most difficult things I ever did to raise that kid.
    Loving your stories that bring it all back vividly.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Jess Guest says:

    And telling your kids that Santa is a “fun pretend” brings a different bag of issues. When your kid is the one shouting out “Hey that’s not Santa, that’s Mr Rowe ’cause Santa’s not real he is a FUN PRETEND THING” really LOUDLY in that piercing 4 year old voice at the community Christmas party. And other children start crying and every parent there – your neighbors who you see every day of the year – gives you a death stare and your kid s totally confused about why you’re sushing them because he’s just telling the truth…. fun times.

    Liked by 1 person

      • Jess Guest says:

        For the record, I chose not to pretend to the kids because I remembered my brother having the “Well, is Jesus real?” moment. It has made for fun times (like the time an old lady in the supermarket told my 2 year old that Santa wouldn’t come if she didn’t smile and my 2 year old cocked an eyebrow and said in patronising tones “Santa isn’t weaw you know.” – she’s 11 now and the tone has only grown with age) but social awkwardness aside it’s not a decision I regret. My kids drew santa pictures for the tree this year, they take it in turns to be Santa Christmas morning and they love the odd Australian tradition of the local fire fighter volunteers driving around in the firetruck with “Santa” on the back delivering sweets. Christmas is pretty special in our house. I don’t feel people who play along will put all their kids in therapy and the reasons my kids end up in therapy will probably be nothing to do with the lack of Santa belief (probably). But Christmas can be magic and wonderful – if socially awkward – without telling them Santa is real. The boys also invented a “tooth dragon” to replace the tooth fairy and they make me dress up every time they lose a tooth. So -positives and negatives….

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Dick says:

    Hi, Jami,
    Your post brings to mind the time my wife told our 4 year old daughter that the Santa story wasn’t really true and that we were her Santa. Almost immediately thereafter, our neighbor from across the street dressed convincingly as Santa rang our door bell, called Jennifer by name and asked if she had been naughty or nice and, finally, what did she want for Christmas. When he left Jennifer looked at mom with a look that said “How could you deny Santa when he is so obviously real!”

    PS Santa neighbor was very worried that Jennifer would ask him for a kitten which he knew was not an option.
    These things are never easy!

    Liked by 1 person

    • jamiamerine says:

      That’s awesome! Santa brought a kitten to our Sophie a few years ago and it died a terrible death 24 hours later 😰 ugh. I am still torn as to what to do but I have had a blast hearing from everyone! ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  9. candygilbert says:

    We should talk. Max believed in Santa until he was 13. He had photographic proof and he used it. At school. So many kids had so many questions. Anyway, when he was 13 Santa brought him an electric razor. When I was trying to open the golldern package I may have said, “I’m never buying a Norelco product again” to which Max replied, “Wait, what? You bought this?” And the truth was out and it wasn’t that big a deal. We sure did have fun all those 13 years! Now he still loves Christmas!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Kim Davis says:

    My thoughts are just that, mine, and not meant to offend anyone. I now have grown children and grandchildren and I wish I had NOT done the “Santa” thing. The grace covenant Jesus gave us is not based on our behavior but on His love. And telling our kids to behave or Santa won’t bring them gifts is manipulation and scripture tells us manipulation is as witchcraft. And how many times did I tell my children that truth is the most important thing – “You will get in more trouble if you lie”. I believe that Satan loves that we tell our children there is a Santa. I know many will say I am overreaching – but as Christians how can we justify lieing to our children. We have planted a seed that truth does not matter if it is fun and everyone does it. Christmas can still be fun and exciting. What child doesn’t look forward to gifts regardless of who gives them. I believe we can still embrace all the joys of Christmas without Santa bringing toys. The most important thing is to make Jesus real in our families. Walk in the gifts of the Spirit and let that be the best gifts and truth to give our children.

    PS: One son has 4 children and they do the “Santa” thing. I am blessed to have them living next door. While I don’t “encourage” it, I would never do or say anything to undermine their choices. I am not right nor are they wrong. My walk with the Lord has changed me and my perspective. Much love to you Jami – keep on blogging!

    Liked by 1 person

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